(Originally published in The Wedding Chronicle and back by popular demand)
Look out, slacking bridesmaids – the Bridesmaid Bounty Hunter is on the prowl. As the co-owner of Twirl, I help manage bridal parties, and keep brides apprised of who has placed their order, and who is lagging behind.
Every week I console too many brides who are simply perplexed as to why their friends and family are proscrastinating at placing their dress order for the most important day of the bride’s life.
Having been a bride last year, and with ten bridesmaid stints under my own belt – trust me, I know both sides of weddings. Bottom line, ladies - it’s an honor to be asked to stand beside this person as she promises herself to the man she loves. Honor her back by being a supportive, and responsible, bridesmaid!
Chasing after grown women who are causing stress and hurt feelings for one of our brides is not enjoyable Bounty work. I would love for my bounty hunting days to end, and have some insider tips for both brides and bridesmaids.
Tips for Brides:
1) When asking girls to be in your wedding, openly discuss what they will be responsible for – financially and regarding their schedule.
2) Work it into your wedding budget to purchase part, or all, of the bridesmaids’ dresses. Your head is already spinning from how much the wedding will cost, so adding a little more for this shouldn’t be too painful of a stretch. Trust me – brides who do this NEVER have to bring Twirl’s Bounty Hunter on board. Plus, you can use this as their gift.
3) Be considerate of your bridesmaids when choosing dresses, but never, ever, let your vision be lost trying to make everyone happy. Your entourage will unlikelyagree 100 percent on a dress. Holding on to your vision, while being thoughtful, will keep you from an unpleasant metamorphose into Bridezilla.
Tips for Bridesmaids (or How to Avoid Bridezilla and the Bridesmaid Bounty Hunter):
1) Before you commit to being in a wedding, assess your financial situation. Can you afford to participate in throwing her a shower and bachelorette party, and buy gifts? Can you spare money for a dress, shoes, jewelry, and hair/make-up? You don’t have to have a lot of money to be a bridesmaid – I was in 3 weddings just out of college, and in several on a teacher’s salary. You may have to sacrifice a few things, but isn’t this what we do for those we love the most?
2) If you truly can’t afford all of these things, be honest and gracefully thank the bride, but opt out of being in the wedding. She will understand, and will appreciate your honesty.
3) Once you do say yes to being a bridesmaid, understand you are saying yes to whatever makes the bride happy. If you don’t love the dress she chose, too bad – if the bride loves it, wear it with grace and a smile. This is her day. Come to Twirl and check out our collage of “Why Twirl Was Created” – you should see some of the get-ups Jenni and I had to wear back in the 90’s! Please, ladies – you surely can survive the much more stylish choices designers offer these days.
4) When given a deadline to order your bridesmaid dress, get it done before you have to. Remember – the bride is getting updates from the Bounty Hunter, so she knows who is on top of it, and who is slacking.
Above all of this, a wedding day is about two people promising their lives to each other – it’s not about the flowers, the free cocktails, or anyone’s attire. When those things become the focus, the real reason you’re all coming together is lost. Feelings and emotions can be fragile during the wedding planning months. Simply honor each other throughout the process – the Bridesmaid Bounty Hunter can cease to exist, and you can all look as happy and beautiful as these girls….
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| Photo: Hollye Schumacher |
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